he was very special. he was born with something called cerebral palsy. he could not walk and he could not talk. but he could communicate by looking up for yes and down for no, and somehow my aunt could read his mind and always knew what he wanted. his favorite color was orange; his room, his wheelchair, his entire wardrobe and even his casket was orange. i remember one time he got grounded from wearing orange, and that was the ultimate punishment.
duncan was the absolute most spiritual being i've ever met still to this day. i remember when i was little, he would always cry during prayers. always. and i never got it until i was older. he felt the spirit so strong during every, single prayer.
i was almost 16. me and olivia had slept over at my cousin morgan's house, we went home the next morning and starting watching the sunday morning conference. my dad walked into the family room and said, "duncan died last night. mom's over at their house now." i don't remember what happened after that, i just remember feeling numb. then next thing i remember was sitting at my aunt and uncles house on the couch next to my mom, crying. conference was on in the background but everyone was looking at the pictures and scrapbooks they had pulled out. i couldn't even look at them. then suddenly, it was President Monson's turn to talk. it's like he was talking to my family.
its long but wonderful, so if you haven't the time to read the whole thing, i've highlighted the things that stuck out to me.
"Throughout our lives, we must deal with change. Some changes are welcome; some are not. There are changes in our lives which are sudden, such as the unexpected passing of a loved one, an unforeseen illness, the loss of a possession we treasure. But most of the changes take place subtly and slowly... Day by day, minute by minute, second by second we went from where we were to where we are now. The lives of all of us, of course, go through similar alterations and changes. The difference between the changes in my life and the changes in yours is only in the details. Time never stands still; it must steadily march on, and with the marching come the changes... Send that note to the friend you’ve been neglecting; give your child a hug; give your parents a hug; say “I love you” more; always express your thanks. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of “what if” and “if only.” Said author Harriet Beecher Stowe, “The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone...Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows...Brothers and sisters, my sincere prayer is that we may adapt to the changes in our lives, that we may realize what is most important, that we may express our gratitude always and thus find joy in the journey. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen"
duncan was the happiest person alive and i KNOW that he found joy in the journey. his favorite movie was the disney movie 'Meet the Robinsons" (and if you've never seen it, i highly recommend it). the theme of the movie is 'keep moving forward'. and that's what life really is about.
so grateful to know that i will not only get to see him again, but also walk with and talk to
him. along with my grandpa oaks.
thank you duncan for being an example to me! we all miss you so much.
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